Hi Lorie,

How are you doing? Your message sounded sad but better. If that reflects how you are think you are doing, you're making good progress. You have the right to feel good about yourself for getting to ware you are.

It's funny, I've not done anything with Legacy for about a month, your the 3rd thing in 2 days. The other 2 were simply booking, nothing important. I find talking with you and others rewarding, even if I can't really do anything that makes a noticeable difference. This is hard to explain I feel good, but I've been ill leaving me with little to do that feels worth wile. So if you want to talk, feel free, I do too.

Did John have coronary artery disease? My mother's sister lived with CHF for many years and died unexpectedly Christmas '08.

I asked if John was older, 8 years makes him 51 or 52, about the same as me. I'll be 53 in July. The 50's is a dangers time, both in absolute numbers and percentage wise, more people die in their 50's than 60's. It seems that if someone has a long term potential health problem it gets them in the 50's. I was born with the condition that nearly killed me 3 years ago, no one had a clue how dangerous it is. The most noticeable symptom is a runny nose. I started not being able to clear the mucus from my lungs, leading to pneumonia. I nearly died from a runny nose!

Do you have the chance to interact with people on a daily basis? The normalcy of doing everyday things with others is a good thing.
If the limits you have using a computer leaves you feeling you need more, we might be able to figure something out.

Dominic

I can't tell you how to get through it. I am in the same place. I will be fine and then out of nowhere, I just start crying again. I can't stand this. All of my so caring friends have quickly disappeared and I have no children or grandchildren to comfort me or to comfort. I envy you because you have folks around you all the time. Right now I would have to tell you you can't make it through a day without crying. I had been married fro 23 years. In our first year, I had major heart surgery, not something simple like a by-pass or transplant, but they cut into my heart and replaced two valves. My wife stuck with me through all that and was the best woman in the world. She was never sick, it seemed, though she was in pain most of her life.

I felt so helpless her last two months, she was in so much pain she moaned all night long and then she was on morphine and that made her loopy. I found a note she had written on her desk exclaiming she recognized she was crazy. She wasn't but the pain drugs made her think she was. I was just so helpless. I can't type this without bawling. I'm sorry I'm not cheering you up. I can say the one thing I did which is helping me is I started a paper journal and an online journal. I invite all my friends and Darlene's friends to write in the book. The instruction is NO CONDOLENCES. Because condolences are as empty as the hole in my life. I ASK THAT they write how my wife was special to them. That helps me focus on her positives and not my losses. It helps some. the facebook page is Legacy of Darlene Klar. If you give me your email address I can send you the fan invitation so you can see what I did. I had it on legacy.com but they wanted to charge for it and facebook was free, so I moved it. Of course when you see the page, I put one of Darlene's dance videos on it and I can't watch it without crying but I watch it anyway. It might work if you cut and paste this in your browser. I provided a place for condolences because some people don't know what to write otherwise, but I don't read them.

My paper version I have more control over and still some condolences slipped in.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Legacy-of-Darlene-Klar/113070415384239?v=app_2373072738#!/pages/Legacy-of-Darlene-Klar/113070415384239?v=wall