Losing my love, my everything has been devastating. As if that isn't bad enough, friends and his family have not asked what it was like to be his full time caretaker.  I wanted him to die with dignity, in our home and that is what he did.  To deal with people texting like mad and if you can believe it, facebook updates was beyond inappropriate and I am still dealing with some residual anger. It's not like he had a cold.  It was vicious and I actually saved a lot of people from seeing the gory details.  Unfortunately, I'm the bad guy.  Some texted non stop, trying to see him, but they were not intimate friends.  They were party friends.  He loved everyone, but when you are dying, there is a VIP list.  So, I had lies made up about me to save their grief of not being on that list.  I have kept my mouth shut, because I don't want to hurt them with the truth.  So, I am a villain in all of this when really I was a saint.  I was his true love and I made sure he had love and was comfortable.  I hope they never have to go through what he and I went through to understand.