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Getting through the holidays!

Posted on December 8, 2009 at 12:20am 0 Comments

This will be my first Christmas without my little brother. I tried to write on here the other day, but it kept saying there was an error. He died in a sudden car accident last Jan 23rd. I still wake up and think this is all a bad dream & I am going to wake up! Today my mom & I went to the crash site & put some solar lights up on his cross. We are going to decorate a living christmas tree with solar christmas lights (purchased at Target) and put it down at his grave. He loved… Continue

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At 7:28am on April 9, 2010, Lisa Mc. said…
Oh, Shannon, how wonderful for you to comment. Thank you so much. I, too, have been trying to figure out a way to help someone else while I'm still here on this earth. My thoughts were to ask an AA group or an alcohol addictions counselor if there was any way I could be of help by telling my brother's story. That you went to an AA meeting is so admirable and that is what I am going to focus on for awhile, finding someone who will allow me to tell this heartbreaking story. I am so happy to hear that your brother communicates with you. I have had a few dreams, the most vivid one on Easter morning, a couple months after his death, where he told me not to be sad, that he knew he drank too much and couldn't ask for help, and that he knew he was going to die. It was so real that I woke up and had a hard time getting awake. I just felt him there. Our sister had a dream about him just a few days after he passed. She was at our childhood home, in her bedroom, and her cell phone rang. The display told her he was calling. She answered quickly and screamed "where are you? everyone is looking for you!" and his answer was "I'm OK - I'm in that eternal place." I was actually envious that she had that dream! I have been fascinated and enchanted since I was a teenager with the possibility or, I hope, reality, that our souls and consciousness live on after our physical death, so these things, and your stories, give me great comfort. There is a wonderful website, near-death. com, that I visit every day to read about people who have been near death and have communicated with loved ones, how our souls don't die, and on and on. You should check it out. You could stay on the site all day and still not read everything it has to offer. It's odd how our stories of loss are very parallel. You know as well as I do how profound the loss of a sibling is, and the guilt that we bear because we believe we didn't do enough to help. I worked with a woman who lost her brother in an industrial accident when she was just 17; her brother was 18. That was over 30 years ago and she said she still struggles, almost daily, with the loss. She said all she can say to me is that you learn to live with it. The people who are rude enough to say "you'll get over it someday" are just that - rude. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain or loss on anyone. Please stay in touch. It is so comforting to know that I'm not alone.
At 10:45am on September 20, 2009, Colleen Dore said…
Thank you for sharing your story, I lost my son Robby almost 8 weeks ago, my son Art has been a blessing to me, we cry together, and sometimes just hug, I thought he was just helping me, but now I see that it was helping both of us, because he was being brave for me, when he was hurting too! Now I see that! I was, and still am, hurting so bad, but, I want to be there for my other 3 sons, who need me to.
At 12:25am on August 25, 2009, Shannon said…
I cant tell you how sad I feel for you also. I am sorry for your loss as well. Today I just cried & cried, But I know in time I will have happy memories. He was my "big lug" who I could talk to about anything, and I know if he saw me crying he would be telling me to knock it off! He always said I was a hidious, ugly cryer, so I can just hear him when I cry. But I feel like an emty shell without him. Its nice to talk to someone who understands exactly how I feel. Sometimes I feel so alone, because I dont want to burden people "again" with my pity party. I just want to get through this horrible thing with some grace & dignity, and try to make my brother proud, but I cant! Not just yet anyway! If he were here he would be doing the same thing I know, so I dont beat myself up too bad about feeling the way I do. I just feel lost. God bless you michelle, and all of you out there going through this! I dont wish this on anybody!
At 12:16am on August 25, 2009, Shannon said…
thanks michelle
At 11:23am on June 10, 2009, Barb said…
Hi Shannon, I love you!! Barb

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