Sue Darby
  • Female
  • North Ridgeville
  • United States
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Moving On

Posted on July 28, 2010 at 1:30pm 0 Comments

It has now been 2 years and 1 month since I lost my Tom. It has been a time of adjustment, transition, inner searching, and learning. I have survived and I am stronger for the ordeal.

But now it is time to move on. I am not letting go, I am moving on. I will never forget the 45 years I had with Tom but now it is time for the second half of my life to begin.

I have met a man with whom I am cautiously exploring the future. He does not in any way remind me of my Tom. He is a… Continue

Grieving still

Posted on December 8, 2009 at 6:31am 0 Comments

I has been 1 year, 5 months and 14 days since I lost my Tom. We had been married over 42 years. And I am really just now feeling the impact. This past time has been one of adjustment, of arranging, of grief but now it is really hitting home. Could it be the Holidays, probably. But I do know that I am feeling lonely and abandoned. He is supposed to be here w/me, helping w/life, making decisions and just being. I never opened up to anyone, preferring to be "strong" for family and friends but… Continue

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At 2:10am on April 15, 2010, Peg Otley said…
Dear Sue,
I have read your comments and I do understand how you feel.My love of my life, Harry, celebrated his last birthday on the day you posted your comment above. He passed away 5 days later, on dec. 13th 2009 of pancreatic cancer. We were together for 39 1/2 years...married for 36yrs. Christmas was a big blur being only 8 days after his funeral. I have not been able to go through his clothes yet. My 3 children, all grown and married, have been having a hard time also but not living at home here it is nothing like I am feeling, never having lived alone. I agree with you about that feeling of complete loneliness and abandonment. I hear so many noises in this house when I am sitting alone here. SOME we used to hear together and kid that the house is haunted but now that I am alone, there are many more "noises" I've never experienced before. I'm sure much of it is all in my head. Nevertheless, I hate it. Amongst all this adjustment, my dad has been in the hospital 4 times since Feb. 14th when he had a stroke. I feel I haven't had sufficient time to deal with my grief because I set it aside to be there for my 82yr. old mother and 80yrs. old dad. Life goes doesn't wait for us to 'catch up". I will keep you and all on here in my prayers that we all will be comforted by each other and find it a little easier to cope with our issues. Have a positive day.
At 9:45am on February 17, 2010, Sue Darby said…
Hi Jan, I know the kids do help but, like you say, they don't know how we feel. They have also lost someone but the loss is different for them. I find they have been most attentive to me so I know they understand.

Do you ever see or hear something and think " I have to tell ______ about this? I find I'm doing that a lot. Then I remember. It is still so hard to fathom that Tom is gone. But I'm going on 2 years of being alone and I'm finding each day gets easier. I stay busy with work but there are times I think everyone has someone but me. I know that's not true but I still think it.

Anyway, stay strong, it gets easier. Time is a great healer.
At 9:06am on February 7, 2010, jan said…
Hi Sue, yes I have children one lives on his own the other one with my and also another boy a family friend that needed to get out of his house, they have all been a help to me but they do not know how I feel. I do have a cousin and an aunt that have been alot of help because they have been thru this. Still crying alot....I miss him so much...
At 4:18pm on January 30, 2010, jan said…
Thanks Sue....yes I do work just went back this week after 2 months out. Yes I cry at home alot! Seems especially on Saturday because thats the day my Dave passed. He had had his cancer for 2 1/2 yrs and we too hoped he would win....Nice to hear things will get better. Jan
At 9:39pm on January 7, 2010, Steve Cain said…
We are always happy to be here and to help where we can. All of us in this group are going through similar events, each in our own unique way. I also recommend contacting your local hospice. Many of them sponsor support groups that help you work out where you are at emotionally. I know they have helped me.
At 7:48pm on December 16, 2009, Donita Jo Scott said…

Sue, Thank you so much. It has been two weeks, and it feels like just yesterday. And last week was our anniversary too. I try to keep busy, but it's still those quiet times that get to me. We never could have children, and we have no family here where I live. And, We were both disabled, so I don't work...just sit here alone with my memories. At least I stay on the phone or computer, and that keeps me busy. I share alot with my brother in sister passed away 2 years ago. So that helps alot. Sometimes we just sit on the phone, crying with each other.
Bryan and I had been together 19 years when I lost my soulmate and best friend.It just isn't fair, you know. And we just did not expect it. We were supposed to grow old together. He was so funny...he loved to make people laugh...he lived for that. He would tell me "I'm sorry-maybe someday I'll grow up". I told him he had better not-That was what meade me love him so much!
I would love to hear from you again....we both have this hole in our hearts, and could share with each other.
Until then, take care, Donita

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