Posted on November 17, 2008 at 11:48am
Kevin Michael Conatty, a Soldier, Policeman, Private Investigator, Fiancé’, Step-Dad, Friend, Son, Brother, and Uncle. How could I even begin to put down on paper, his life story, and all of the wonderful things that he brought to me and my daughters life? Kevin was such a wonderful man who touched so many peoples lives in many different ways. He had a love that was so real, pure, and honest, anyone that ever knew Kevin or was a part of his life always felt… Continue
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I was just thinking of you since it would be two months soon. I just wanted you to your still in my thoughts and prayers and hope you and your daughter are able to make the most of it despite it all. I'm sure the way you treasure and honor Kevin's memory alone would make him happy. I'm sorry if things are tough, but keep holding on. Take care, Kev.
I agree with you whole heartedly. We never know when we may say goodbye or goodnight for the last time. That alone is a sobering and numbing thought if we let it consume us. Yet you have already saw the most important part of that reality. Making the most of what we have and can do now. If you’re not ready to move on, don’t let anyone push you into. It will take time, and you can do it. If alone for your daughter you can find the strength to endure.
Many have wondered why though. During times of deep grief, troublesome questions do come to mind for some. Why did God let this happen to us? Why did God take them? And the wrong answers can’t bring true satisfaction, only false comfort. To be told that ‘God needed your loved one’ very often causes a turning away from God in a spirit of bitterness. The truth, as contained in the Bible, answers questions about grief and draws one closer to Jehovah God, rather than pushing one away from him. We are assured at 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 that he is the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort. Peter said “Throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Throw this burden upon him, “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.”
Things can indeed get better Wendy. Keep holding on, your daughter will need your strength. Please pray for that strength. It’s hard to comfort strangers. You never know if you may say the wrong thing hoping its right. You don’t want to offend or anger. Despite being separated or different, we are all the same in that we are touched by death. In one unfortunate way or another. I can’t put into words how sad I felt for you as I read your words. I cried for you. We also are all connected as well as being created in God’s image. And as a parent you know the feeling of wanting to spare your child of pain and grief. Like a parent our Heavenly Father would feel the same. Yet just like a parent can’t spare their children grief the same is for us. You did nothing wrong or weren’t being punished. Never think that.
The faithful man Job said: “If an able-bodied man dies can he live again? . . . You will call, and I myself shall answer you. For the work of your hands you will have a yearning.” (Job 14:14, 15) Here the original-language word that is rendered “you will have a yearning” denotes God’s earnest longing and desire. God has a strong desire to reunite loved ones. It states here “The hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life.”—John 5:28, 29
God has promised to undo the ravages of death. Hang in there Wendy, I know it’s easier said than done. But you can do it.
I used to fly off the handle and get upset about trivial things. You know like if the house was not clean etc. But now I feel that life is too short, and you just don't know if you are saying good night for the last time. Who cares what the house looks like now. I thought I was going to grow old that we were going to have a family he is my family nothing makes sense to me any more it is like what did I do so wrong that God had to turn my daughter and my life up side down I try to explain to my daughter that her step daddy is ok in heaven, but all I do is cry . She can not understand why I am crying if heaven beautiful & wonderful, yet I am so sad. All I tell her is that I miss Kevin and the family that we were I am scared that my life will never be better I know I will never have a man that loves me and my daughter like Kevin does I try to hold on to things like for a week this bird kept coming to my window every morning I would wake up and that bird was there I tried to believe that it was Kevin coming to me and telling me that things will get better but I really don't think I believe it I what to believe it just like I want to believe that one day when I go to heaven that I will be with him again but I don't know if that really is true either the one thing I do know is I am so unhappy and I miss Kevin more then words can even say I really am trying to be strong for my daughter but I really don't know how long I can keep this up