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My son Shot

Posted on September 30, 2014 at 4:23pm 3 Comments

Two (2) years today. My (20) year old son shot. I am angry. I just don't enjoy this life without my son. I loss my marriage of 25 years the day our son died. I have no joy. My husband feels the same. I have one promise every night. I'll be in pain for the rest of my life.

Birthday for My Only Son 9/21. He was shot in the head 9/30.

Posted on September 16, 2014 at 12:21am 0 Comments

"My only 20yrs old son was shot in the head Pamela too. The girl he was with said they were playing with the gun, and that my son shot himself. I know she is covering up something. He went to get his things and the next thing we hear, my son was…"

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At 12:24am on January 5, 2015, David, BERNIE's dad said…

Bera, hope this brings you some Peace.

As I pray every night for His help for Bernie, I feel strongly that I have now handed him over to God's loving care, and that of His Blessed Mother.
When I speak to Them I beg for a warm, little corner of the heavenly palace. I try to replace the image of him in hospital, sick and leaving this earth, with a vision of him sitting in a modest little spot by the back door of this large white palace, dressed all in white like all the other spirits moving around. He is looking up, out of his depth, awed by the circumstances, but safe and secure, healthy and handsome. In my mind's eye, and my heart's eye, this is where he is. I no longer have panic moments about phoning Heaven's switchboard, asking someone, anyone, if Bernie is okay. That is where he is.
This has given me the peace I need to carry on carrying on, to smile, to look after his dogs, the house and the garden. Thank you for the strength, courage  and peace, Lord, the same that I wish for all damaged parents. And when I cry, as us guys shouldn't do, I try to only have pleasant memories in my mind. 
For sure we shall all be together again one day.
At 5:29pm on December 31, 2013, whitney-Michael's sister said…

Yes Miss Bera it is. ..the shock has now worn off...(and the sedatives they had me on for the funeral and the weeks I just feel like a robot...I eat..I sleep(which is a blessing, because at first I couldn't.I would wake shaking and feeling like I could not breathe.OR I would wake up and JUST FOR A MINUTE he was still alive...then I would remember.It is even harder not knowing if he took his own life , as they would have us believe, or if he was murdered, as we have been told by supposed witnesses. I wish I could have faith in the state police that are supposed to be IMPARTIAL and investigating the sheriff's dept. Butafter talking to the investigator it was very clear by even his TONE that he was not only not going to be any type advocate for my brother , but that he was more than likely an adversary of my brother and our family. It has been 2 1/2 months. The coroners report is still pending. The state has finished their investigation but will not release it (to the papers, not to US..we have to go though the additional pain in the butt of having to send off the written request and that will take ANOTHER months or more. Personally, I think they are lying and hiding something and have thought it before the man came to my mothers to tell her two men strangled my brother with a pair of pants. Ther is no way ,if that happened , that law enforcement couldn't be aware of it. Either way, he died of neglect plain and simple , while in their care.Itmakes me sick and sad that we have to question the integrity of people who are to be held to a higher standard because of the position they hold with the public trust. I hope I am wron because .I am tired of people doing the wrong thing.I want my brother back..but that is not going to I want justice for him and THE TRUTH.He deserves that.

At 9:58pm on October 15, 2013, Patricia Harris said…
Thank you for the friend add. Just know you are not alone and we are here together.
At 8:30pm on September 20, 2013, David, BERNIE's dad said…

Berna, wanting to let you know I will be thinking of you and Timothy tomorrow, on his 21st birthday.

Maybe he and Bernie are pals in Heaven. Let's hope.

Try to be strong for him. 

Best wishes, David.

At 2:10pm on August 21, 2013, Ralph Section said…

Thanks Berna for being a friend. "Friendship is essential to the soul" is our motto,the Omega Psi Phi fratenity. I am graduate of Tuskegee University with a BS in Electrical Engineering; I Iike Spiritual Stuff-Chants,mantra, decrees,meditation, Yoga, etc,.... and more; and working with computers  and electronics is my avid interest and profession. Electronics, Computers and Gadgets are all relalated to Spiritual Stuff because the circuits used to build the devices are controlling the electrons in the electricity used to power them. In a similar way chants, mantras,and decress allow us to control the electrons  in us to manifest vibrant health, abundance and prosperity, and so much more...... Enough of this spiritual and techical stuff.   I just wanted to give you an ideas about me. Thank you for friendship......ralph

At 12:08am on August 10, 2013, Barbara Rieger said…

Berna, I thought I'd respond to your post that you left. The reason is because people get notification when someone post something.

I was thinking of you today because I was at my mother's house cleaning it. I'm having lots of people come in to gut the kitchen and the bathroom, paint, do the wood floors, put up new doors, garage door and build new steps in front and back. I didn't have to do any cleaning but I just had to do it. I also have been taking many things that I can't part with and some will be donated to the Veterans. I sat down in a rocker and was crying my eyes out. I thought of our conversation and then my husband walked in the room. I didn't want him there intruding on my getting some release of my pent up pain. This was the house we moved into right after I bought my first new car and got married from to my first husband (he was my son Joe's biological father and he passed just a couple months after my son) First father passed then about 5 years later my younger and only brother and then 5 years later my only child Joe passed and less than 3 years later in November 2012 my mother passed. Lots of memories and just so overwhelming to deal with today. Indeed, there is more but I just want you to know I can feel you. I have no one in my immediate family to love that I can physically see.

How wonderful it is that you have a daughter that has a baby for you to hold and love. I wish I had that but I have nothing but some photos and some memories.

I will pray for you to be happy with your new grand baby to hold, love and cherish.

At 4:32pm on July 2, 2013, David, BERNIE's dad said…

Berna, I hope these words make you stronger:

God's Garden

God looked around his garden 
And He found an empty place. 
Then He looked down upon the earth, 
And saw your humble face. 
He put His arms around you, 
And lifted you to rest. 
God's garden must be beautiful, 
He always takes the best. 
It broke our hearts to lose you. 
But you didn't go alone, 
For part of us went with you, 
The day God called you home.


 - Mary E. Deforge.

I wish you courage, strength and peace.

At 1:14am on February 8, 2013, Alicia Rodriguez said…
I'm so sorry for your loss I know how you feel everyone here dose I list my beloved son Jesse on 7/12/09 and I miss him everyday take it on day at a time god bless you Alicia Jesses Mom Hugs to you
At 1:11am on February 8, 2013, Alicia Rodriguez said…
Sorry for ur loss Berna I lost my beloved son Jesse on 7/12/09 and I still miss him everyday but you can come on this site there's always someone here God bless you just one day at a time Hugs to you Alicia Jesses Mom
At 4:53pm on January 18, 2013, Melinda CANDACE Guinn said…

Candace was born 2/11/80. She went to Heaven 4/09/10. that day lives in infamy for me!


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