You never forget Karen, and at times tears will come.. but as time goes by, you replace the deep pain, with beautiful memorys.. and although the pain is gone, she wont be gone.. but rather safe in your heart where she will remain till you meet again.
Karen, you have never been given the chance to grieve for your brother and to work through the pain. That is the only thing I have found that lessens the intensity of the pain -even though it never really goes away completely - it just changes and becomes more bearable.
I have found that it helps to speak to them and say what it is I need to say to them - it just helps to put it into words. I do not think we get over it we just get through it and getting through it means we have to allow ourselves to feel all of it. I sometimes find myself talking to my sister and the laughing through then tears as I remember something joyful that we shared - strangely it helps somehow. Allow your self what time you need to grieve for him, to miss him and to express how you felt about his death and the effect it had on you and your family.